A dear friend of mine had spent the morning deep cleaning. We shared how satisfying it is to do all that work and see just how much progress has been made through our efforts. That feeling of accomplishment and pride brought me back again to the end of today’s Gospel in Matthew:
Blind Pharisee, cleanse first the inside of the cup, so the outside may also be clean.
When I wake up in the morning, I make sure that my bed is made and my things are put away. Why? Because it should be an outward side to the interior order of my life. Amidst changing directions with my living and my future and my life, I have been a mess lately. I have been in what seems like fifty different places in a matter of the last month. My cup was full and running over from the love I been given in goodbyes and the peace gained from attending School of the New Evangelization up in St. Paul, Minnesota.
But arriving home to Houston, despite how full I may have been, those first couple of days, I felt ragged— inside and out.
Moving home has been a daunting task for me. I felt that there were so many things left incomplete or unfinished in San Marcos. Suddenly, what had been home for the last four years wasn’t home anymore. I was afraid of this time set apart and what was in store, but reading this verse I realized what opportunity I have laying at my feet. I have an opportunity to spend these next four months deep cleaning myself. The Lord has set me at the sink and asked me to not worry about what else may be going on outside the kitchen. For now, just focus on the dishes.
So here I am sitting in bed with my cat snoozing by my laptop. I have a cup of Sleepytime beside me and I have just pressed submit to my final course at Texas State (praise the Lord for online classes) and to receiving my diploma in December. I have so many plans swirling in my mind for the future (in my typical INFJ fashion), but I’m learning what it means to lay those aside and trust in the timing of the Lord. Once the dishes are done, He’ll show me what I’m to do next, but I want a clean cup. I desire a well-ordered life. I desire a life centered on Christ. I want my bed and room and smile and dishes to all be outward signs of the inward order that I am working on. So here’s to tackling the mess these next few months and seeing what He has in store. I’m looking forward to looking back in January with a sense of accomplishment and pride and exclaiming, “Lord, you did all that?!”